- House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries having some fun at the expense of the GOP’s not-so-dearly departed

As we near the two-year anniversary of Russia invading Ukraine, many European allies are renewing their support for Kyiv. But continued U.S. support now looks highly uncertain. 
 

• European Union leaders met in Brussels on Thursday, where they unanimously agreed to grant 50 billion euros ($54 billion) in new aid to Ukraine. The decision sends a powerful message to the United States, where Congress remains split on whether to keep financially supporting Kyiv in its fight against Russia. German Chancellor Olaf Scholz said he hoped the European decision would compel President Biden to convince Congress to follow the EU’s lead. Two years into the conflict, French President Emmanuel Macron was resolute, saying: “The message is clear: Russia can’t count on any fatigue from the Europeans in their support to Ukraine.”
   

• The agreement follows weeks of grueling back-and-forth with Hungarian President Viktor Orbán, who vetoed the last aid proposal in December. Orbán surprised everyone by supporting the new agreement on Thursday, saying he would do so because the money would not come from EU funds that had been earmarked for Hungary. (The EU is withholding about 20 billion euros from Hungary over widespread accusations that Orban is undermining democracy in his home country.)
   

• Orbán is something of an antidemocratic strong man himself, and has cultivated closer ties with the Kremlin than many of his peers in the EU. But Orbán also knows that the Hungarian economy is under pressure, and he needs the bloc to help him out. The Hungarian president, who has been in power for 13 years, is hoping that European elections in June will see a change of winds that blow in his direction (rightward). His country’s capital, Budapest, will host American conservatives and the far-right Dutch politician Geert Wilders at a CPAC gathering in April.

But for now, Orbán isn’t standing in the EU’s way anymore: he acquiesced to the group’s proposal after they threatened to strip him of his vote if he kept vetoing aid packages to Ukraine. The $54 billion package passed on Thursday will help keep the Ukrainian economy afloat for the next four years. 
 

• The outlook is far murkier back in the United States. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer said on Thursday that he would set up a test vote next week on a measure that would pair a bill cracking down on immigration with tens of billions of dollars in military assistance to Ukraine and Israel. The measure will be an uphill battle against Republican resistance in both chambers, but a small group of GOP Senators are working with Democrats to finalize a deal that would include a clampdown on immigration at the U.S.-Mexico border. Republicans had demanded that domestic border security be included in any future funding packages to Ukraine. 
   

• The problem is that disgraced former president Donald Trump has dripped poison in the ear of his far-right GOP lackeys in Congress, who are now primed to kill the bill. Trump has convinced his basket of toy soldiers that a border deal would be bad for his reelection campaign, because he wants to run the old demagogue route of “only I can fix it.” The deal on the table would make it more difficult for migrants to be granted asylum in the United States, increase detention capacity and deportations, and shut down the border if crossings exceed a certain threshold. But the GOP is suddenly saying that even this isn’t harsh enough because it might make Daddy Trump angry. Pathetic, loser shit!

Time is running out for a compromise, which is ironic because Republican lawmakers were the ones who demanded an expedited border fix in the first place.

Airplanes may be falling apart left and right, but Lovett’s not about to let that keep him from going on tour. Because here’s the thing about Jon Lovett: his ticket was nonrefundable. Lovett or Leave It will be coming to Washington, DC on April 25 for a show at The Lincoln Theatre. Tickets are officially on sale! Head to crooked.com/events to grab your tickets now.

The Biden administration accused four Israeli men of involvement in settler violence in the occupied West Bank, and imposed sanctions against them on Thursday. The move denotes the Biden administration’s escalating displeasure with the policies of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s government. The four men were the first to be targeted under a new executive order signed by President Biden on Thursday. The directive aims to punish Israeli settler violence in the occupied territory through financial sanctions and visa restrictions against those who attack or intimidate Palestinians or seize their property. The Biden administration has been highly critical of Israeli settlement expansions, issuing a rebuke last March when the newly-elected far-right government announced it would commence construction of new settlements for the first time in almost 20 years. The Israeli government had assured the administration of George W. Bush that it would permanently withdraw from the northern West Bank in 2004, but ultimately reneged.

Disgraced former president Donald Trump’s March 4 trial date in federal court for plotting to overturn the 2020 election has been dropped off the public calendar, signaling that his claim of presidential immunity is delaying his trial. 

Members of the Palestinian-American community refused to meet with Secretary of State Antony Blinken on Thursday. In a published statement, the group’s leaders said: “After nearly four unbearable months of constant U.S.-enabled Israeli violence against our families, friends and other innocent civilians in Gaza…we cannot imagine what Secretary Blinken could have to say or discuss with us.”

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) introduced a resolution to censure Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) because of a mistranslated video of Omar’s remarks. So yes, to be clear: she wants to censure Omar over something she didn’t say. Greene accused Omar—an American citizen born in Somalia—of acting as a foreign agent and expressed desire to deport Omar. What in the racism is this woman ever even talking about?

TikTok is the fastest-growing social media platform among Americans, according to a new Pew Research study. We remain scared of the youths and their short videos!

U.S. officials are planning increased security measures for when Trump arrives at the federal courthouse in Washington D.C., and it could look like the barricades erected before January 6. 

Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) has devised a plan to recruit primary challengers for all of his GOP colleagues who pushed to oust him as Speaker last year. We hate McCarthy but love a spiteful, petty bitch.

Scientists found a determining clue as to why women account for 80 percent of people with autoimmune diseases: a molecule called "Xist" that is only found in people with XX chromosomes. Damn, even molecules are SeXist.

75% of American adults are deficient in magnesium, a mineral that’s essential to hundreds of functions in the body. That means that there’s a 3 out of 4 chance YOU are deficient. And guess what? Magnesium deficiency is a root cause of a whole host of modern ailments–from anxiety and depression to insomnia and stress. Suddenly the puzzle pieces are coming together! 
 

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Rep. Ken Buck (R-CO) announced he will not vote to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, citing lack of evidence. Buck said, “This is not a high crime or misdemeanor. This is not an impeachable offense. This is a policy difference ... it's wrong, and we should not set this precedent." Spoken like a true Republican not running for reelection!

The Oregon state Supreme Court ruled that the 10 GOP state senators who staged a six-week long walkout last year to stall bills on abortion, gun control, and transgender healthcare cannot run for reelection.