John,
Get yourself a friend like Max Miller. Max is like the son I never had, because I hate Don and Eric.
He's been a perfect lackey. Max was an aide during my time in the White House who helped me plan January 6th, and he's always had my back in Congress.
At this point, Max loves me more than Melania. He even had his wedding at my golf course in New Jersey.
Donate to Max Miller's opponent, Matthew Diemer!
Don’t worry, I’m not done with Max yet. Here are some more things I'm gonna force Max Miller to say:
Trump University is a better school than Harvard
I have the largest hands he's ever seen
The art of the deal should replace the Bible in Churches
I should be chosen for America's sexiest man alive
And if he turns on me, maybe I'll even try to have him hanged like Mike Pence.
Max’s opponent Matthew Diemer is running to stand up for democracy instead of destroying it. It would be a real shame if you donated to Matthew's campaign to defeat Max Miller.
Sincerely,
Donald Trump (parody)
Diemer for Congress
P.O. Box 16753
Rocky River, Ohio 44116
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