A guide to difficult conversations for people who hate confrontation - Vox   

“We don’t avoid conversations because they don’t matter. We avoid them because they do matter.”

We humans love to talk. Conversations serve many purposes: to pass the time, to learn about people and the world, to exchange information, to share a laugh. Sometimes the function of discourse is to get what we want: a change in behavior, a raise, a resolution to some disagreement. These higher-stakes conversations can be anxiety-inducing because there is so much that can go wrong. Will our partner get defensive when we ask them not to make jokes at the expense of our family? Will our best friend dismiss us when we say we fear we’ve grown apart? We may bite our tongue and hope whatever’s eating us up inside fades.

Steering clear of potentially consequential conversations can be detrimental to relationships. Left unaddressed, even minor concerns can brew into resentment, anger, and depression — often to the complete surprise of the other party. If you never have potentially thorny chats, you risk never learning the appropriate way to navigate interpersonal conflict, and those you interact with never have the opportunity to change their ways.

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There’s more than one way to feel lonely - Vox   

Despite having a network of friends and acquaintances, Rohit Singla, an MD-PhD student in Vancouver, knows no other existence than one of loneliness. “I think I associate myself with being baseline lonely,” the 31-year-old says. Beneath the exterior of a productive, competent scholar is a man who feels he is lacking deep, caring, reciprocal relationships. Seeing friends in long-term relationships only illuminates the distance that naturally grows when romance takes precedence over friendship. When the group chat is silent in response to his attempts at coordinating a hangout, Singla suspects he’s low on his friends’ lists of priorities.

There are times he feels appreciated, less alone: when a pal checks in just to see how he’s doing or when someone he hasn’t spoken to in awhile reconnects. But despite these respites of connection, the undercurrent of alienation persists. “Loneliness,” Singla says, “is this simmering, ongoing feeling.”

Over the last decade, loneliness has reached so-called epidemic levels, with public health officials and researchers alike quantifying the mental and physical health impacts of living in social isolation. Still, there is no one way to experience loneliness. It’s the isolating dread of not having found your place in the world. It’s the heaving weight of grief after losing a person, a place, a community. It’s the pang of anxiety when you remember how long it’s been since you saw your best friend. It’s a sense of foreignness despite being surrounded by familiar faces. For Singla, loneliness is a palpable burden (“My loneliness physically feels heavy,” he says) as well as an emotionally destabilizing one. “It feels unsteady. I almost feel like I just lose myself.”

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The best advice we got in 2023 - Vox   

Expert-approved tips — both big and small — to take you into 2024 and beyond.

For those looking for a quick fix on how to live better, here’s the bad news: There’s no one right way to experience life. We’re all doing our best to get by and treat others with respect in a world that’s flawed, messy, and unequal. The good news: With no one-size-fits-all approach to happiness, anything that brings joy to others and ourselves is worth pursuing. How we make meaning in our lives, despite the challenges we face, can help bring us closer to that ideal “best” life.

After combing through all the many words of wisdom shared with readers this year, here are some of the most poignant pieces of advice on how to live a more meaningful life.

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Relationships aren’t always going to be totally balanced. That isn’t a bad thing. - Vox   

Would you give your mother nearly $10,000 to help her avoid catastrophe?

The question wasn’t rhetorical for comedian and writer Ashley Ray-Harris when, in September, the 32-year-old got a call from her mom. The family had a week to come up with close to $10,000 or else Ray-Harris’s mother would lose the house that once belonged to her parents.

In a karmic turn of fate, Ray-Harris had the funds. She’d slowly set aside $10,000 for a new car — her dream car, a 2017 Mazda CX-5. Instead of a down payment, Ray-Harris used her savings to keep a roof over her mother’s head.

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