There are plenty of reasons why it can be difficult to connect with your father. Maybe your relationship isn’t exactly a model of emotions and vulnerability. Maybe you’re both too busy to sit down and have a meaningful chat. But there are questions you likely have for him and when he’s gone, all of those reasons will turn into regrets. The point? Don’t waste time, succumb to pride, or entertain doubt when considering what you’d like to know about your father.

Connecting with your father as an adult is a rich experience. It’s much different from getting a lecture as a punk teenager home past curfew. Dad’s wisdom is likely poignant, his life experience valuable, and his words meaningful. Sure there are roadblocks: he likely has his historical biases, certain myopic ideas, and perhaps a lack of self-awareness. But it’s worth pushing past all this and trying to have a conversation with him as a parent, a friend, a mentor, and a man. If you have the chance to ask him, don’t let it pass you by.