If you follow parenting style trends, you’ve probably heard a lot about attachment parenting lately. It’s the idea that a parent who’s a stable force in their child’s life and responds quickly to their needs will foster a healthy attachment but anything else could set the child up for a life of anxious or avoidant relationship styles. One thing, however, is clear: It doesn’t actually foster healthy attachment in kids.

Attachment parenting misses the mark because when parents do too much for their kids or become too overprotective, kids don’t learn necessary skills. The good news is that anyone who has understandably skewed too far into this parenting style can pull back to become authoritative, which is a parenting style that actually fosters healthy attachment.