From Dc Lozano, PowerPAC <[email protected]>
Subject What The... !? A Gift From Santos AND Kevin is Home Alone, But Not in the House🎅🏽
Date December 12, 2023 10:30 PM
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Friend -
🎁🎁 What The … Early holiday cheer is this? In a Double December Surprise, the House of Representatives (where the party formerly known as Republican holds a slim majority over the Democracy party) coughed out not one but TWO maga, sorry, mega hairballs. The first 6 days of December ushered in the historic, & frankly long overdue, expulsion of George Santos, & a Screw You Guys I'm Going Home move by Kevin McCarthy who announced he will vacate his congressional seat at the end of the year. Kev tried to play it cool, you know, like he was simply off to do better things (won't be hard pal), but the truth of the matter is he was ousted by his own petard. This is the house that Kevin helped build, & his legacy will be that of enabling the rise of fascism in America, & then having those same fascists destroy him. How do these villains never see the monsters they created coming to eat them alive?
🍿🎥 But for fun, this newly announced made-for-television movie from the Home Alone franchise makes it all the better. This low-budget holiday film, Houseless and Alone , is filled with just the slapstick vacation high jinks we all need. The plot is simple. Kevin McCalllisterArthy, finds himself House-less after his beloved party leaves him behind on their vacation to Mar-A-Lago. Wyoming Representative Harriet Hageman will play the role of George Santos, the bumbling new apprentice of the Sticky Bandits, played by a choose-your-own GOP con man. Santos, however, is quickly gift-wrapped by the Sticky Bandits & handed over to the feds as punishment for using recent heist money for Botox & porn. Despite this minor role, Hageman said she was happy to take on the part because one of the perks of growing up on a cattle ranch is developing an aptitude for bullshit. McCarthy will play himself as he plans to finally act like a congressman. IRL, Santos is busy figuring out how to stay out of jail & using up the rest of his 15 minutes doing Cameo appearances where he has made an astonishing six figures in less than 2 weeks sending messages to those willing to pay $400 for a video of him saying things. BTW, this is why other countries hate us.
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🧦♩Seriously tho, Santos really is a thief & not one person will miss him. Unlike Kevin, the curious case of George will likely be a trifling footnote in history, yet one still indicative of this embarrassing epoch. Let me qualify, he will *hopefully* be a footnote, a note no bigger than a baby bootie. However, if there is no Goddess around us, & TFG wins the 2024 presidential election, that Orange Nightmare will do everything he can to bring forward the autocracy he began conjuring from his boiling cauldron during his Birther and Worser years.
🛷 This America, especially, seems to lack the gift of compassion & empathy, just look at The Own An Arsenal crowd who thinks Santa drives a slay rather than a sleigh. If next holiday season we have Trump Steaks at the White House, our reality could include a cabinet position for Santos. That’s how bonkers things are. TFG would then collect the remaining horcruxes he wasn’t able to get his tiny hands on his first go-round, & there wouldn’t be one good wizard on earth able to stop him. An America First second term would be an abomination & even TFG’s previous self would seem rosy in comparison to the grotesque dismantling that would ensue.
🫖 Santos in his legislative role delivered only lumps of coal, but he is simply a symptom of the trouble that began spouting steam as the Tea Party in 2009. Kevin McCarthy, who was supposed to be the future of the Republican party, raised obscene amounts of money that helped usher in the MAGA years. He is certainly thinking twice about his wish to wake up Home Alone with bandits taking over the House.
🌊Obviously, a house without Kevin & George is the gift of the season. Perhaps, even, the holidays started on December 1st, & it’s all happy songs & renewal from here on out. Perhaps as we bring good tidings, the tides are turning.
🥛🍪 Well, that’s me, off to dip my cookies into my glass half full & to turn on my favorite holiday tune: Goddess, Rest Ye Scary Gentleman. You’re gone without dismay!
May these days be merry & bright,
Dc Lozano
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