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4 Ways Women Can Build Relationships When They Feel Excluded at Work - Harvard Business Review   

Many women can’t or don’t want to socialize after work or during work hours. They keep their heads down at the office to maximize their efforts, and then feel the pressure to head home to spend time with their families. But this limits their access to sponsorship and diminishes their chances of career advancement. By committing to a manageable combination of informal relationship building inside and outside the office, women can amplify their efforts and develop genuine influence with senior colleagues and decision makers. Is your workplace a coffee culture? Do people play cards or grab a drink together after hours? Knowing what social rituals define your organization makes relationships easier to maneuver. Arrive five minutes early to meetings and start a conversation. Walk to the train with someone who’s going your way. Regardless of the specifics, seize easy opportunities to connect. Developing genuine relationships is one of the most important things women can do to advance their careers.

A male friend of ours recently had a realization. He was walking through the bar at a private golf club, looking for a colleague he was meeting for dinner. The dark-paneled bar was filled with men and they all seemed to know each other. Will wasn’t a member of the club, and he felt a little out of place. When he found his friend and they sat down at a table, he felt more comfortable. Then he looked around and realized that only about five of the 35 people in the large room were women. Even if they were members, these women stood out in this mostly male setting. He could blend in so easily. These women didn’t have that luxury.

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