Parenting is a long game, and mistakes are a big part of it. This is hardly shocking. You know you won’t ace everything, but, in the end, you hope that you did far more right than wrong. As you grow — and watch your kids grow — it’s natural to reflect on the things you could’ve said or done differently along the way. Maybe you missed opportunities to bolster your child’s confidence or failed to drive certain points home. It happens.

One of the best ways to move on is to interrogate the mistakes, promise to — and plan to — do better, and share your wisdom with others so that they’re better prepared. That’s why we spoke to 14 dads about what they wish they told their kids more often when they were younger. Unsurprisingly, they all wished they were clearer and more consistent with certain messages.