How To Make Someone Truly Feel Heard
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Nov. 19, 2023

Have you ever found yourself being told by your partner that you do something that bothers them, and responded with a phrase like: “Tell me exactly when I’ve done that?” Have you even asked them to itemize their observations, making them, in essence, “show you the receipts?” Odds are you probably have. And you need to break the habit. Asking someone to ‘show the receipts,’ therapists say, is a frequent source of stress for relationships and “one of the most invalidating things you can say to your partner when they discuss their feelings.” Here’s how to avoid the defensive temptation — and a better way to respond.
ADVICE
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Want A Happier Marriage? Stop Asking Your Partner To "Show The Receipts" ([link removed])

Asking someone to give you immediate proof of a problem they’ve shared is invaliding and hurtful. Here’s a better path forward. ([link removed])
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You want to respond to the emotional content of what your partner is expressing, and not the words themselves.

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