G'day John --

This week we've had Senate estimates, but it's not the only thing going on around the country. 

We put a bunch of rapid-fire questions to Jacqui to get her take on the top stories of the week. Here’s a bit of a snippet of she had to say:

Cheers

Team Lambie

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On everyone running to buy all the toilet paper —

“Growing up, my mother used to say, 'I’ve never known anyone who uses as much toilet paper as you do.' I think I’m doing it wrong.“



On what would happen if Parliament ran out of toilet paper — 

“I have to thank God, and it’s the only time I’ll say this — this is The Australian, we get it every day up here, and we don’t really actually use it. So what we should do is quite simple. Just cut it up, scrunch it up, and wipe. Much cheaper way of doing things. And a much better use of the paper!”



On the rumour that we’re not going to be in surplus after all —

“You know what, nobody talks to me about a surplus. They’re more worried about not being able to get their kids in to see a psychologist. They’re more worried about what’s going on with the elderly in aged care. They’re more worried about the lack of treatment for our veterans. Quite frankly, I don’t think they could give a stuff about a surplus.”



On who’s best at asking questions in Senate Estimates —

“The one that’s like a dog with a bone would have to be Penny Wong. I’ll tell you what, when she goes, she goes hard, and she goes straight for the jugular. She’s quite impressive. I don’t mind Rex Patrick, he doesn’t let anything go either.”



On who’s best at avoiding answering them —

“If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry when trying to watch them answer questions. There’s so much bullshit that comes out of their mouths. It’s just spin. And if they can’t answer, if they feel under pressure, they just look at the public servant next to them and say, ‘you can take that one’.”



On what we’ve learned out of Estimates this week — 

“So we also learned this week when it comes to members joining our defence forces that their recruitment information might have been “compromised”. I think what they mean is *hacked*. And for goodness’ sake, don’t mention the Chinese! <[link removed]>”



On Bernie Sanders versus Joe Biden —

“I’m more worried about stocking up on my toilet paper.”



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