Have you ever found yourself being told by your partner that you do something that bothers them, and responded with a phrase like: “Tell me exactly when I’ve done that?” Have you even asked them to itemize their observations, making them, in essence, “show you the receipts?” Odds are you probably have. And you need to break the habit. Asking someone to ‘show the receipts,’ therapists say, is a frequent source of stress for relationships and “one of the most invalidating things you can say to your partner when they discuss their feelings.” Here’s how to avoid the defensive temptation — and a better way to respond.