What Not to Do When You’re Trying to Motivate Your Team - Harvard Business Review   

People ultimately choose to be motivated — when to give their best, go the extra mile, and offer radical ideas. The only thing leaders can do is shape the conditions under which others do, or don’t, choose to be motivated. Unfortunately, too few managers understand this, and so there is a gap between managers’ efforts and the results they’re getting. Three of the most offensive forms of “motivating” — drive-by praise, making stuff up, and guilt gratitude — can actually make employees feel less appreciated and erode their trust in a leader. The common shortfall among these approaches is that they all serve the leader giving the praise, not the recipient. If you want to direct your good intentions into more-meaningful expressions of recognition, consider these alternatives: Ask your employee how they accomplished their goal, explain how their efforts are contributing to the broader organization, and acknowledge the challenges they overcame to make such a valuable contribution.

When I speak to large groups about leadership, one question I often ask is, “How many of you have ever received a compliment from your boss that actually offended you?” Without exception, more than two-thirds of the people in the room raise their hands. When I probe further on what people found offensive about their boss’s praise, the most common responses I hear are “It wasn’t sincere” and “They didn’t know what they were talking about.”

When leaders look like they are just applying some “motivational technique” they read about, people see right through the superficial, obligatory effort. It looks like they are checking off the “I motivated someone today” box. Motivation is not something you do to people. People ultimately choose to be motivated — when to give their best, go the extra mile, and offer radical ideas. The only thing leaders can do is shape the conditions under which others do, or don’t, choose to be motivated. But the final choice is theirs. 

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