When I think back to all the things, I deprived myself of - people that I didn’t meet, jobs that I didn’t apply for, experiences that I denied myself, partners that I wouldn’t let myself love, life that I didn’t live. All because I didn’t believe I was good enough or deserving of it. I was starving for connection and validation and was looking for it in all the wrong places. But despite my relentless driving, I would soon learn worthiness was not something to be earned, it was something to be believed. 

Inevitably, perfectionism would betray me. Perfectionism is just shame masquerading as discipline. Inside the delusion of shame and not-enoughness was a world of hurt - chronic burnout, perpetual injuries, broken trust, failed relationships. Perfectionism wasn’t making me better; it was making me miserable. When I think back to all the time and energy that I invested in proving and performing, when I could have been loving, connecting and creating. The cost of my addiction was irreparable, but the choice to do something different, to own my imperfections and appreciate my worth without conditions, was profoundly shifting. 

Healing invites us to declare our enough-ness and reclaim the worthiness and dignity that is inherent to who we are. It means confronting the lies that we tell ourselves about who we are supposed to be and liberating ourselves from society’s unrealistic standard of perfection. It challenges us to question where we are operating from scarcity both within ourselves and the systems we are a part of. When we remember that we are already whole, enough, significant and worthy, we can imagine a world beyond proving and performing - a world where we are seen and valued simply because we are.

Starting next week, were going on a 5-day journey of embodied inquiry and shared practice. Together we'll explore,

• Navigating our addiction to perfectionism and dismantling the self destructive tendencies that sabotage the self and our relationships. 
• Unpacking the patterns of thoughts/behaviors that perpetuate the illusion of control and anesthetizes emotion through doing. 
• Reconciling the cost of our compliance to our personal health, our relationships and our work in the world and exploring what is possible when we fail forward and embrace our humanness.  
• Recovering our dignity and creating new and different ways of being and doing in the world that honor our inherent self worth and belonging.
• Building healing practices of mutuality and relational support in the context and container of collective recovery 

Perfectionists Anonymous is a 5-day bootcamp using embodied practice, radical inquiry and mutual support to examine how we’ve been shaped by dominant systems to strive for perfection and what it’s going to take to get free. Join us September 25th - 29th for a powerful (and imperfect) bootcamp to confront this addiction and unleash our true power and potential.

Look forward to practicing with you. 

-Kerri