Donald Trump spent a scant three hours in Washington Thursday to surrender to federal authorities, and is now comfortably back home, still the toast of the Republican Party.
 

• But first he had to make a virtual pit stop near his retirement manor in Florida to address yet more charges. On Friday, he pleaded not guilty for the second time in 24-hours, in this case to additional charges in a superseding indictment leveled against him in the stolen classified documents case. In a court filing, the former president and his attorney waived Trump’s right to appear in court. He has now pleaded not guilty to almost 80 charges, state and federal. No rest for the wicked!
   

• Now we have to see if the judge in the stolen documents case knows how to conduct a trial without blowing it—either by accident, or to help Trump intentionally. Aileen Cannon—who was appointed by Trump—reportedly made two errors in a June trial, including one that could have invalidated the proceedings. In the case of an Alabama man accused of running a website with images of child sex abuse, Cannon closed jury selection for the trial to the defendant’s family and the general public, citing inadequate space in the courtroom. The right to a public trial is protected by the Sixth Amendment of the Constitution, although in certain cases judges have discretion to close courtrooms.
   

• Cannon also did not swear-in the pool of jurors, an obligatory step in which potential jurors swear to tell the truth during the selection process. Aileen, sweetie, have you done this before? The error forced her to restart jury selection before the trial came to an abrupt end with the defendant, William Spearman, accepting a plea deal. That deal included an unusual item allowing him to appeal a decision by Cannon that had previously denied his motion to suppress evidence in the case. Cannon made two significant mistakes in a trial of grave consequence involving a man trafficking child sexual abuse images that could have allowed him to request a mistrial. Seems bad!

Or, as Trump and his sycophants in the Republican Party would put it, seems good!
 

• More than two years after the insurrection, the few GOP leaders who once condemned Trump are now singing a decidedly different tune. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) is screaming about how Trump can only get a fair trial if all the jurors are Trump voters, or something like that. On Tuesday, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy defended Trump and dismissed his myriad indictments as a coordinated Justice Department attempt to “distract” the American public from Hunter Biden (right-wing media runs stories about Hunter approximately 24-hours per day, for those who don’t watch) “and attack the frontrunner for the Republican nomination.” And they have good reason to attack the prosecution: About half of Republican voters say they would choose to not vote for Trump if he is convicted. That means the other half would vote for him even if he were a convicted criminal, which is bad, but you can’t lose half your supporters and still win an election.

• Speaking of jail, Trump knock-off-tweeted “IF YOU GO AFTER ME, I’M COMING AFTER YOU” on Friday, a not-so-veiled threat against prosecutors and witnesses, which seems to clearly violate the terms of his release, which Magistrate Judge Moxila Upadhyaya warned him just yesterday would result in him being locked up ahead of trial. Separately, a representative for John Eastman—who personally devised Trump’s plan to overturn the 2020 election—said on Thursday that he was “99.99 percent sure” that Eastman was among the unnamed co-conspirators mentioned in Trump’s indictment. Eastman is most certainly the unnamed “co-conspirator 2,” as the chief architect of the “false electors” scheme. His lawyer said Eastman will not play ball with federal prosecutors if indicted, flatly rejecting the idea of a plea agreement. We’ll see how that works out for him!

For the first time in over two years, we can contemplate the prospect of Trump facing a trial and jury verdict for his insurrection before voters go to the polls in 2024. And that’s good! Fairness, to both Democratic AND Republican voters requires it.

Exciting news! Crooked Media Reads’ first book, Mobility by Lydia Kiesling, is out now! It’s a coming-of-age story about navigating a world of corporate greed that's both laugh-out-loud funny and politically incisive. Reading isn’t just for tweets anymore, so get your copy of Mobility now at Crooked.com/mobility.

Ron DeSantis finally, begrudgingly admitted that the 2020 election was not stolen, a rare break from his usual commitment to falsely rewriting history. 

President Biden is reportedly calling for members of his Cabinet to “aggressively execute” plans to get federal employees to return to their offices this fall after years of working remotely. 

The conservative activist behind the Supreme Court case that ended Affirmative Action is now suing an Atlanta-based venture-capital fund that supports Black women who own small businesses, accusing it of “unlawful racial discrimination.” 

Thanks to needless obstruction of military promotions and appointments by Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL), the Army and the Marine Corps are now both without a confirmed leader for the first time in United States history. Cool guy! Good stuff! 

Rep. Brendan Boyle (D-PA) ripped into Attorney General Merrick Garland, calling him “weak and feckless” for hesitating so long to prosecute Trump for his attempts to overturn the 2020 election results.  

The incarcerated opponent of Russian President Vladimir Putin, Alexei Navalny, had an extra 19 years added to his jail sentence on Friday, which he and his supporters say is a ploy to keep him behind bars and out of Russian politics. 

Ukraine said its drones struck a major Russian port on Friday and damaged a warship, underscoring Kyiv’s improving military capabilities. 

Passed a half-century ago, the Endangered Species Act hasn’t been updated since 1992, and hangs in jeopardy because Republican lawmakers are hellbent on weakening it.

Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan argued on Thursday that Congress does, in fact, have broad powers to regulate the Supreme Court, contradicting her shittiest colleague, Samuel Alito. 

A new jobs report shows that workers at the bottom of the income scale are enjoying the most rapid wage growth. You know what would help that even more? Raising the minimum wage.

Ruben Gaellgo—the Democrat running for Senate against Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (I-AZ) and likely also MAGA psycho Kari Lake—is leading the polls in six different election scenarios. Let’s goooooo!

After being expelled by Tennessee Republicans for protesting in support of gun control on the floor of the state legislature, Justin Pearson and Justin Jones overwhelmingly won the special elections for their old seats on Thursday. Hot Justin Summer prevails.