Friend -
The GOP is having an eggplant emoji moment, & while we’re all forced to watch, it’ll be a blessed day when they take this aged package, zip it up, & put it back where it belongs. What The!? is up, GOP? Why must you always bring it back around to the performative chest-bumping, hand-size comparing Testosterone Theatre?
🪰The Party of Chump is all about the bro-nary. They are so over-the-top in defining masculinity that they’ve made it toxic. Like if Axe Body Spray were a political party. I would love to be a drone on the wall (who the hell wants to be a fly) in a MAGA planning room. You can picture it, can’t you? The spittoons, the red, white & blue paper plates, the cheeseburgers with just ketchup, a confederate flag somewhere (probably Matt Gaetz’s boxers), the elected women of congress taking minutes & bringing coffee rather than acting as elected members of congress. The agenda tossed aside for a lively conversation about whether or not to change their official party name to GOPenis rather than actually coming up with any sort of plan that would benefit their base: the white working class.
🎭 (Uh-oh, masks!) Welcome to the Testosterone Theatre of interchangeable actors.
Episode 1: Ol’ One-Eye
😜At a recent congressional hearing on gender-affirming care, Texas congressman, Dan Crenshaw, who wears an eye-patch, took a moment to speak to “the elephant* in the room.” Dan has always imbibed in the GOP’s Koolaid De Talking Points about gender, but it seems like maybe he got the placebo cup this go-round because he made a whole lot of nonsense. “So, so, you know, my daughter's gonna grow up with a father with one eye, and at some point, she might say, 'you know what, I want one eye,' right? 'I identify as somebody with one eyeball' — which by the way is far less important than your gender, just physiologically speaking. And so if I take her to the doctor and I say, 'can you just denucleate that eye for us because she identifies as a one-eye. She wants to be just like her dad.'
Infomercial Break
🤯Whoa. Dude that’s NOT how it works. But, sure, let’s pretend it did. Wouldn’t it be super problematic if our nation’s politicians started attacking one-eyed people & jailing any optometrist or ophthalmologist who treated them? Wouldn’t it be absurd if we passed legislation stopping one-eyed people from receiving health care since two-eyed people are the norm? Wouldn’t it be ridiculous if we passed a law that barred one-eyed people from playing sports or entering two-eyed bathrooms. Geez, Dan, that's one outlandish argument. Maybe also check in with your daughter, because we all know she rolled both her damn eyes at you.
End of Episode:
😑Dan, went on to insist that eyes are far less important than one’s actual gender or reproductive organs. Uh, people who’ve had hysterectomies, can I get some eyebrow raises? Sheesh. But, wait, is there something going on here? A coded message maybe? Is Dan saying that perception & gender are linked? Is he agreeing that perceived gender is a reality? Because he surely knows that perception is often wrong. Nah, couldn’t be. I won’t hold out hope that he’ll ever get to the understanding that another person’s relationship to their body is no government’s business — or that he’ll ever be inclined to see this complicated beauty of a world via something other than his eggplant.
Tune in next week for Episode 2 with Josh Hawley & the SoBap Boys
- Dc Lozano, PowerPAC Director
*When asked what gender the Republican Elephant was, Dan said, I don’t know, ask them! 😉
