It’s good to have rules. That goes for kids of course — creating structure and consistency to make them feel safe and their world manageable. But parents too. We’re all winging it in some sense, but to give ourselves barriers, rules, lines not to cross just makes the job easier. One of those is what we call our children. In the heat of the moment you can shout from the rooftops, “You’re being very unfair right now!” But you probably — definitely — shouldn’t tell them that what they’re doing is in any way “stupid.” Why not? Because words have power and words that you use without thinking will start to sink in. So go ahead and right down some rules for yourself — and keep a running list. It will make parenting consistently and fairly all that much easier.