The great Battle of Dodger Stadium is finally over, and the final score was Dodgers zero, Catholics one, and ugly men in clown paint and nun costumes negative 1 billion.

After all the sturm und drag surrounding the Dodgers’ “pride night” ceremony honoring a pornographic Catholic hate group known as the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the pride event itself barely registered. The cowardly Dodgers executives buried the ceremony by holding it a full hour before the game even began and in front of a nearly empty stadium. Just TWO of the brave and proud Sisters dared to show their clown-painted faces! Sister Unity and Sister Dominia, middle-aged male drag queens clad in habits and crosses, stood still in their finery while the announcer welcomed them to a smattering of cheers and boos.