[As the NBA playoffs begin, all-time basketball great Kareem Abdul
Jaabar reflects on the love/hate relationship he has had with his own
body as he and it have aged in the years since he retired.]
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KAREEM ABDUL JAABAR: MY BODY WANTS TO ASSASSINATE ME  
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Kareem Abdul Jaabar
May 29, 2023
Kareem Substack
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_ As the NBA playoffs begin, all-time basketball great Kareem Abdul
Jaabar reflects on the love/hate relationship he has had with his own
body as he and it have aged in the years since he retired. _

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My body is an assassin. And his main target is me. He wants to kill
me, but not all at once. He’s a sadistic sniper, hitting me here,
allowing me to recover, then hitting me again in a different spot. He
shot me with leukemia, prostate cancer, and Afib. He’s not done.
He’s waiting out there somewhere, crouching in the bushes,
controlling his breathing, line up his crosshairs on a fresh part of
my body.

Oh, the betrayal. My body and I used to be best buds. We chummed
around everywhere together, eating great food, playing basketball,
enjoying romantic relationships. Sometimes we got hurt, but we healed
fast and laughed it off. Together we felt like we could do anything,
achieve greatness. And we did.

Now I sometimes feel about my body like I’m caring for a gruff
hobbling parent, hauling him to appointment after appointment, while
he shows no gratitude. Yet, he leans all his considerable weight on me
as I schlep him around all day. It’s exhausting.

Still, I love the old curmudgeon. He may trip me when I’m not
looking. May make me forget a book title or where I left my glasses.
May be adding a laser scope to his rifle. But sometimes he forgets his
sinister mission and comes out from the bushes to hang with old
friends, play with grandchildren, and comfort others. He’s not all
bad.

Our evolving relationship has actually done me more good than harm. I
learned how to lean on others when I was ill. That is not a small
accomplishment. Each clumsy potshot he’s taken has brought me closer
to my friends and family. Plus, seeing dedicated doctors and nurses
doing all they could to help me nurtured my faith in humanity. Faith
in humanity is an endangered emotion these days, so I’m happy
whenever I experience it anew.

Maybe my body _isn’t_ an assassin. Maybe it’s still my best
buddy. It’s just that now we have a different, more mature
relationship, based on shared joys and shared struggles. In his song
“Old Friends,” Paul Simon wrote about two old men sitting on a
park bench: “Old friends, memory brushes the same years/Silently
sharing the same fears.” Me and my body are those old friends. Maybe
we do share the same fears about deterioration and death, but
they’re a lot less scary facing them together.

And neither of us intends, as Dylan Thomas said, to “go gentle into
that good night.”

* Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
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