Carving out time for connection amidst the chaos of parenthood is important. Very important. Without it, it’s easy to feel detached and distant. And when those feelings emerge, it’s easy for frustration and resentment to ride piggyback. That’s why it’s so important for couples to prioritize intimacy. Quiet moments on the couch where you catch up. Planned date nights that help familiarize you with each other’s internal worlds. And, yes, sex.

It can, of course, be tough to find time or energy for sex. But busy parents who carve out time for it do two big things: they get intentional, and they get creative. At least that’s what we learned when we asked ten such parents how they manage to make time for sex. Their answers all point to the same truth: intimacy — both physical and emotional — is a bedrock of a strong relationship. Now, yes, every couple is different and various demands are at play. But having open discussions about intimacy, locating small moments of connection, and searching for ways to include more connection in your relationship are all important ingredients. These couples don’t find the time; they make it. Here’s what works for them.