For the last 6 Sundays of Lent, RfA board members and RCA chaplains have reflected on the implications of the "I am" statements from the Gospel of John. During Holy Week, we've asked queer RCA folks to respond to each of those "I am" statements in a series of daily postings.

For example, what does it mean to you to hear "I am the light of the world" if you're in the closet or in a place of emotional darkness?

Today, we receive a response to "I am the light of the world."
I know what it means to live in the Darkness far away from the God of friends, family, and loved ones. I am under no illusion that I am far from God, but the God we worship is a God of lunar softness as much as solar power. The Christ that walks triumphantly into Jerusalem also walks humiliated out to Golgotha. Christ knows intimately what it means to live in the Dark, thus, we are not alone in this darkness. The last year has shown so many of us that our bodies, communities, and cultures are not safe under the shadow of hetero-patriarchal white supremacy. And yet there is hope.

To live in the dark does not mean that there is not light. The Moon and the Stars shine bright above us, and in the moments we cannot see them, still they remain there. Christ remains with us in the Dark, too. The being who sat at the beginning of the world, cries with us “My God, My God, why have you forsaken us?” (Matt 27:46). As if it was not God and God’s people who invited us to shine here brightly. We will not be hidden from the whole house; Rather we will shine, as God the parent has called us, and we’ll shine brightly before the nations, either now or in eternity.

Prayer: Mother, Father, Everything God, who meets us in the darkness and invites us to shine, empower us to shine brightly despite those who wish to hide us under baskets, through the power of your Child Jesus Christ our savior, Amen.

Elliot J. Weidenaar is a Digital, Political, and Ecclesial Strategy Consultant, as well as Community Minister at Judson Memorial Church in New York City. Elliot is attending Union Theological Seminary and currently serves as a Board Member of Room for All.

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