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This month What The will be highlighting April Fools. My gosh people, if Florida, the hanging chad of America, is any indication of the direction the GOP wants to take us in, we are F’d. And by that I mean floored, oops, sorry, I meant Florida’d. Did I mean fools? Regardless, let’s talk about our first April Fool: Florida State Representative, Stan McClain, the nincompoop behind No Period Talk.
🩸I know most of you have heard about the ban on period talk in Florida schools, but it bears a reminder and a revisit, much like a period. In Florida’s unending effort to ban all things related to gender, sexuality and diversity, their newest whack-a-holy-moly maneuver is to ban girls from talking about their bleeding bodies before the age of 12. Stan, what big baggage you have.
⛺️I guess all that’s left is to erect Red Tents! The Hemophobe himself, no one will ever stan you Stan McClain, has proposed a ban on any discussion of menstrual cycles in schools before the sixth grade — even though many girls start their periods as early as 8 or 9! If they need help at school related to their changing bodies, they are out of luck because it would be ILLEGAL to utter any words about it! Eachertay, Ursenay? Iyay, tartedsay, ymay, eriodpay, elphay!
🦄This isn’t just Handmaid’s Tale Qraziness. This is a whole new level of shaming women into subservience and powerlessness. Florida legislators have gone so far backwards that they’ve entered an alternate universe. Before you know it, they’ll be prescribing young girls medication to stop them from menstruating at all. Oh wait, wait, they’ve outlawed hormonal gender affirming care as well, so … Menstrual suppression for thousands! Absolutely no menstrual suppression for a few! Got it got it got it. Makes perfect sense. Does GOP stand for Gross Our Periods? Which is it, Swamp Father? Period or no period? Nevermind, all we need is the grammar popo getting involved.
🤔Unsurprisingly, Stan McClain is not trying to limit boys who ejaculate before the age of 12 from talking about their changing bodies. Could this bill be misogynistic? Uh, I’d swear a blood oath by it. This is not about Aunt Flo folx, this is all about Uncle Flo-rida — & let me tell you there has never been a more unwelcome guest.
📰This GOP-backed legislation is headed to the Florida House where crazier bills have passed. If it does, it will most certainly be signed by Governor Ron DeSantis — but not with a red pen. FYI: this bill would also “allow parents to object to books and other materials their children are exposed to, (and) require schools to teach that a person’s sexual identity is determined biologically at birth.” Is this what they mean by small government?
🌊The only good news here, other than the GOP is telling us exactly who they are? Maybe the No Period Talk Bill will keep a Red Wave away from Florida in 2024, Period.
🧳Oof, that’s a lot to unpack. Next edition we’ll be moving North to Tennessee and then onward to the Florida of the North: Idaho. 🍟
I feel a blood moon rising,
Dc Lozano, Digital Director
